Daily Laughter for Life

Drink don't drive

2008-06-28T02:43:00.000-07:00

BEER IS CHEEPER THAN GAS as of now DONT DRIVE, LET'S DRINK

Titanic passion of love

2008-06-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Feel the Romance!!! Feel the passion of Love... Titanic spells love ... hehehheheh and titanic spells dove!!!............................................
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Microsoft Monopoly on the RUn

2008-06-18T00:46:00.000-07:00

DANGER!!! DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!

Microsoft is on the run monopolizing every system...

photo c/o Mr. Clay Bennett - http://www.claybennett.com/

An old man and a bottle

2008-03-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

A 60-year old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a bottle and said, "Take this bottle home and give me back a sample tomorrow."

On next day, the 60-year old man came back to doctor's office and gives him the bottle, which is as clean and empty.

The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand - nothing. Then with her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get that bottle open!"

American's and Filipino's must read this post!

2008-02-16T05:32:00.001-08:00

This is the NEWS that American's and Filipino's must read...

"THE LONG LOST TWINS"

Candidate US President - Hillary Clinton
Philippines President - Gloria Macapagal Arroyo

for more laughter for life click HERE

"Presence of mind"

2008-02-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

The husband of my friend received Php 50,000.00 cash for injuries after a traffic accident. I asked her how badly injured does his husband had been in the accident. My friend replied, and says, “Ouch, He wasn’t injured but I had the presence of mind to kick his leg before the police arrived!

A Letter

2008-02-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

Letter to son from his Father at the PROVINCE

Dear son, I have already sent you the money for your needs at your school. I already sold all our cows, so study well… Have you already buy the INSTRUMENT “IPOD” you needed. Have you finished your project “COUNTER STRIKE” on which you always say to your letter that it’s a hard subject? Are you still going to “STARBUCKS” to complete your project? By the way, I also sold all our poultry……

speed kills

2008-02-05T22:36:00.000-08:00

On our way traveling to Quezon (province on which beaches are good), I've noticed a road sign says "SPEED KILLS ... drive safely!... after around 100 meters I saw another road sign says, "SPEED GIVES BIRTH... drive faster!....

Monkey - lauhgter for life

2008-02-05T21:35:00.000-08:00

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her face into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong."
The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said.
"I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said.
"Here, let me hold your monkey."

Sperm Bank

2008-02-04T00:38:00.000-08:00

A man runs into a sperm donation clinic with a ski mask and a gun in his hand and points it at the women attending the front desk.

"sir this is sperm bank we don't carry a lot of money" says the woman nervously

"yea i know grab a few vile's of sperm!" yells the man

the woman grabs 3 and comes back

"open one and drink it!" the man yells

the woman does so fearing for her life
after which the man yells "now drink another one!"
after drinking the second the man has her drink the final one

after which the woman asks "sir why are you making me do this?"

the man pulls off his mask and says "see hunnie its not that bad!"

JOKES - Daily Laughter for Life

2008-01-30T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here.

St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one-second. St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life. The next clock belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since he only told two lies his whole life, only two seconds had clicked.

Hillary asks, "Where is Bill's clock?"

St. Peter says, "Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a fan."

2008-01-30T08:36:00.000-08:00

A man went to the doctor because he was concerned about his lessening level of energy. He told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

2008-01-30T08:34:00.001-08:00

YOU SHOULD PUBLISH YOUR JOKES SAFELY

2008-01-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.

"That is the talking clock," the man replied.

"How's it work?" the friend asked.

"Watch," the student said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK! It's two AM!"

2008-01-30T08:13:00.000-08:00

Why do women live longer than men ?

Why do women live longer than men ?

1. Men are too macho to go to the Doctor ! .

2. E-mail the author: linezo1979@yahoo.com.ph

For some funny Jokes you had.... God Bless!!!